Ramblings of a Political Mind or a Mind of Political Ramblings?

This has been on my mind since 6th May, when I began to find out the results from this cursed local election... I know things are probably okay, I know you are probably just licking your wounds and keeping yourself out of the spotlight; I get all that.

I also get that those drunken text messages have not helped matters between us, when do they ever hey? But in short, and as honestly as I can; I miss my friend(s) deeply.

Yes, I know you are the positive ones in our friendships, yes I know you will tell me “that’s life” (as long as you don’t sing it hey) and I know that it is daft; but I am allowed to worry about you guys ~ because that’s what friends do!

I even know you’ll tell me it was, and is okay; but I cannot help but feel like it is not.

This will sound silly, and you will tease me; but I need to say this...

Tony you called me sweetness because I stuck up for you and defended you, and you know that I meant it too... but this election has neigh on killed me ~ and I know you know this, Malcolm and Maureen too!

I am not going to try justifying why, you know why I am sure. But the thought that I helped them do that to you is hell on earth I can assure you! I’d like to plead the fifth and tell you I didn’t know this would happen, and in some respects that is true; but I should have seen that this would have been part of things ~ after all, it was an election right?

The only thing I can say in my defence (if I have any) is that I just tried to do my “job” and sick to shoving things through letterboxes, I did not want to get involved with the dirty side of this election... having said that, this is seemingly all I have done.

In truth, I don’t know whom I am angrier with; them or me! I thought I was doing something for the right reasons, thought that regardless of the results I would have gained something at the end of all this...  and at the end of it all, what do I really have to show?

I had no chance to make a difference, (to you or them) I have no big night out to learn from. As I sit here, all I have is four councillors; friends that are also licking their wounds... and (which hurts me more than anything else does) three friends I cannot be friends with! They treat me with suspicion and will never accept me while I stay friends with you, (I know that I never get those condition with any of you) partly because they say you are all using me ~ and I know that you think the same of them!

All of which leave me with condition and choices I have to make that I don’t want to make, Maureen you say I was torn; and you are correct. How am I meant to be me (which, okay isn’t great ~ but is the best I can do right now) and follow what I believe, when everyone seems to hate everyone bloody else?

I guess that in the end, it shouldn’t matter; but when you have no “family” to speak of, your friends do fill that gap. I hope this makes sense, I think there was/is a point to it; even if it has just been to get my head clear of things...

In closing, I will find the path I am looking for (I hope) and I promise to never shut the door on any of you ~ unless you wish me to! Do you know the times I have had to sit and listen to them badmouth you guys? Tony especially, but I guessed you knew that... I know it is politics, but does it have to be that way? I don’t want to “join in” attacking any of you, and I don’t want to join in attacking my party either; can I not just keep my mouth shut? You’re all big enough to fight your own battles anyway!

Tony I thought/hoped we were friends long before politics came back into my life, it would be real good if we could get back to that ~ minus the crush thingy of course... (Trying to make you laugh, sorry)

I’ll hold back from asking if we can get back to normal politically, seeing as I am not sure just whom of us was normal in the first place! But I sure would like to know all is okay with you guys, would also like to catch up with you for that (sober ~ VERY sober) birthday drink too!

I wish I knew what to say to close this better, wish I had all the answers I needed and indeed wanted; but to save John’s ear getting anymore chewed off (or worse still, his shoulder soggy) let me know you guys are (or will be) okay?

Where Am I?

Well, this is the hard part. Explaining where exactly I am with my writing.

Firstly, let me explain a few bits about me that might help you all to understand my problems etc.

I have not been able to work for far too long now, I never got good grades, which limited me to my choice of jobs. I have had major bad luck with ill health, which has left me in the position I am today... unemployed and struggling to get by; looking for employment while trying to manage my health issues.

As part of these struggles, I have been looking to retrain in different fields of work other than retail. I looked at training as a web designer, and even a plumber. However, I have found more problems than answers... (I know this is a bit long, but it will get there) Then I hit upon the idea of doing some writing courses, where I did my first one last November.

I have been writing on and off for over ten years, I enjoy it for various reasons. I have not had anything published really, there was a poem that was apparently published in America; but it could have just been a scam e-mail. I have had a few letters to my local paper published and try keeping a regular blog ~ more on that in a moment. I figured that writing courses would be useful to not only help me but maybe also learn more about using my work to make a living from.

And it has helped me, well; it did help me when it wasn't about selling my work anyways. I can do fiction most times ~ more on that in a moment too ~ but when it comes to non-fiction, I really find that I am struggling. In my latest course I am told the best way to start earning from my writing is to write off to women's magazines, which I know is true.

The problem I am finding is I have nothing to write about. Yes I know that sounds daft, but really; there is nothing I can find to send to them. I have no tips or recipes; I have no skeletons in my closet ~ well, none that I can share anyways! I have no life changing stories I can share, no heart-warming tales of how I found the love of my life; married them and then left them again. Simply put, I have nothing of interest to write about.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have views; of course I do. But few of them will make me any money, let alone make anyone want to read them. I use my blog (which have now turned into blogs ~ long story, maybe for another time) to air some of my views, and other than my friends or those who know what I mean; they are not always of that much interest globally.

So I just seem to end up trying to find something that I can write and might be of interest to others, but the truth is I am struggling to find anything. I have been set an assignment to write a readers letter to a women’s/man’s mag, and one of the following… a personal experience type article, an interview with a local personality or someone that is likely to interest readers; or a humorous article… to say that this is filling me with dread is an understatement.

However, now I am finding that I am even having trouble writing fictional work too. Yes I too have hit that wall that many writers will reach, writers block. Maybe it is because I have too much on my mind, maybe I am just trying too hard; but even finishing a story seems too much for me of late. I have gone through writers block before, at least once; but this time it seems that I just cannot even bring myself to start trying again.

So if any lovely writers out there have any ideas or suggestions, I totally throw myself at your mercy! Thanks in advance, but also for listening!

How to Start?

When you think about it, we all have this freedom of speech. It is what is meant to be good about living in a democracy, it is part of the reason thousands of brave men and women fight for those of us in the UK; it is much of the reason many a brave husband, wife, mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister or loved one will not be coming home tomorrow.

As such, we should all (within reason) be allowed to use that hard fought for freedom of speech as we wish. Sometimes we all say things (in anger or heat of the moment) that we do not mean. We all have been guilty of speaking without thinking. Not to mention believing what we are made to believe by various people. Well, I am here to challenge that, I am here to say what I think.

You do not have to agree with any of it, you may not agree with me; and that’s okay! That’s also part of the beauty of being human; we aren’t all the same when it comes to thoughts and beliefs. The only thing that makes us different at the end of the day is our views and thoughts. We are all the same apart from our views. We all have the same flesh, blood, bones and insides that everyone else has; all that separates us is our thoughts.

The only thing you need to give here is respect. And in return you shall be given the same back. The only rules, as with life; be understanding, respectful, patient and open minded. No verbal violence, racial hatred or religious baiting. Everyone has a right to be heard, but not at the cost of alienating others. As above, keep your views respectful of everyone!

Hello World... My Little Disclaimer....

Here we go again then folks!

A new blog and a new place to post my thoughts, views and emotions…

And as I said in my previous blog:
Nothing in this blog ~ or for that matter anything I write, type or say ~ is linked in anyway shape or form to any of the following…



St. John Ambulance.

The Liberal Democrats.

The Labour Party.

The Conservative Party.

The Green Party.

The Independent Group.

UKIP.

The Save Our Services Party.

The Monster Raving Loony Party.

Northampton Borough Council.

Northamptonshire County Council.



Or any other person; living, dead, man, woman, child or alien!

My thoughts, words, views, deeds and everything in between are purely that of my own…

And if you still do not like them, well sorry!!!